*killua looks at her, blinking in understanding. if the definition wasn't predetermined, that would explain their different reactions to the treatment.*

maybe it was our own idea of toxicity...

*but surely he didn't believe friendship was toxic... maybe pitou herself was the key. he'd forgotten how he felt about her, too -- was she also his friend? or... his enemy? suddenly, something clicks in his mind, and the vague feeling tugging at his gut becomes a yanking pull. he hadn't loved her -- he'd hated her! because she also loved gon! it was hatred he'd cast away. hatred, jealousy, bitterness -- and their source. with a dawning horror that brings some of the color back to his eyes, he concludes:*

it took away the feelings that made us hate each other... and love him.