toxic spa room (sfw)

[devil_or_angle]

*a new door has opened, this time leading to a fancy, futuristic spa straight out of a sci-fi movie. past a waiting room filled with comfy chairs looms a sauna with a sign touting its advanced restorative properties, which, unbeknownst to those who enter, will zap out whatever they consider their most toxic traits and send them to a goopy hellscape.

killua is the first to enter, gawking as his clothes are replaced with a fluffy bathrobe, cinched around his waist by a tie. intrigued, he ventures further in, drawn toward the large sauna in the center of the space. the sign beside it catches his eye, and though he's wary of what the airship might think is "restorative," he decides that after nearly dying and coming back to life, he could use a little relaxation.

he heaves open the thick metal door and steps inside, finding the room comfortably warm and filled with a strange but pleasant, sanitized smell. he sits down on the bench toward the back of it, breathing it in and wondering when, if at all, he'll notice its effects.*

Comments

[galacticgroovin]

Pitou stood quietly a moment. Wondering if she would feel like she would want the pain that was taken, to return. Would she jump at that chance? She couldn’t be sure.

If that’s the case, I have a feeling we may be stuck here..in the meantime, we should figure out what we are made from. What toxicity did they consider us to be? Did it include certain memories?

~~~~~~~

Meanwhile outside of the toxicity chamber in the sauna Pitou felt calm. More relaxed than ever. Is this why people like saunas? It feels magical.

Like all my worries just..left with the steam. She sighs happily. All of its seeping from my pores. Have you ever been in a sauna before, Killua? She asks looking towards him.

[devil_or_angle]

*as soon as the flash recedes, killua knows something has changed. his anxiety from before has faded, but left in its wake is... nothing. he feels strangely bereft, staring blankly down at his fists as they squeeze the fluffy bathrobe draped over his knees.*

...never.

[galacticgroovin]

It’s strange. I never thought I would feel like this. I haven’t felt this care free since I was younger. Pitou stretched her arms over her head but remembered the bathrobe again. Quickly adjusting it so she wasn’t indecent.

She did hum in question. You don’t see very pleased. Maybe you need to take some more time with the detox.

As she said this, she was trying to ignore some nagging sense in her instincts. Something was missing. But she couldn’t figure out what it would be.

[devil_or_angle]

*killua glances up as the cat woman babbles on, not saying anything of interest. catching her eye, he feels a strange tug at his hollowed gut, like he should feel something, seeing her there. but again, all he's left with is cold indifference. he turns his attention instead to the mystery of the detox itself, brow furrowing.*

what was that flash just then...? did something happen to us?

[galacticgroovin]

The flash? Pitou asked. She hadn’t thought much of it. She had thought it may have been part of the procedure.

At the question if something happened to them, her instincts continued to scream in her head. It felt like ice picks were being driven through her ears.

I don’t know..it was there and gone again just as fast as it came. I know I feel lighter. Like my own person. Yet I can’t place my finger on it..

I forget what I was worried or upset about to begin with. Maybe rather than a regular steam..maybe the flash was some kind of hypnosis? Like memory erasure? She pressed her fingers to her temples, trying to calm the headache she felt.

[devil_or_angle]

*killua slowly stands up, examining the walls of the sauna for any indication of how the detox works. there are some vents on the ceiling along with the light fixture that had suddenly flashed at them, now dimmed to a warm, calming glow. her mention of hypnosis suddenly catches his attention and he stops, dark eyes widening.*

could it be...

*he's reminded of how illumi stole his memories to make him forget about alluka long ago, and locks his gaze on pitou again, trying to spark his memories. did she mean something to him, before the flash? was she a friend, an enemy? his gaze narrows, sifting through the quicksand of his mind until his thoughts settle on a single person.*

...gon.

*they're connected not to each other, but to another person -- how could he have forgotten? but for some reason, even this connection sparks nothing in him, feeling equally apathetic toward the thought of the dark haired boy who used to be his light.*

[galacticgroovin]

Pitou watches him move around the room. Unsure what of what his intention could be. Watching him closely her head continued to pound so she turned away.

She heard him say a single word. “Gone? What’s gone?” But that didn’t feel right. It cycled in her head more and more. “No..not gone…gon.”

Gon? She isn’t sure what to make of it. She felt nothing at the mention of the name. Her head continued to hurt, but her eyes began to drip with tears.

She didn’t notice them, thinking they were just sweat dripping down her skin.

[devil_or_angle]

*gon. the name echoes around his skull, bouncing off the walls of his empty heart. somehow he knows this name, this person, meant something to him before that flash. but now, he's just another person he happened to meet. it feels wrong in a way that is beyond his comprehension, a queasy feeling coming over him as he turns to look at the cat woman again and finds tears running down her face.*

you're crying.

[galacticgroovin]

No I’m..She raised her hand to her face but could immediately feel a difference between the tears and sweat.

She looked at her hand but could now continuously feel the tears running down her cheeks. Why am I crying…?

She stood up from the seat and started to pace. Maybe because my head hurts..you mentioned that name..it made my head hurt worse.

Maybe the heat is getting to me.

[devil_or_angle]

*even more confounded now, killua watches her pace around the room. it seems she's in the same predicament as him, unable to experience her own feelings anymore -- or at least, the ones revolving around gon. what is her connection to him? for that matter, what's his? he tries to envision his face, his scent, but it's as if the memories have just slipped away from him, not important enough to remember anymore. gon. gon, his best friend. gon, his...*

i think... he might be my boyfriend.

*stunned by his own realization, he looks down at his fists, frustrated tears beginning to prick at his own eyes.*

then why can't i feel anything?

[galacticgroovin]

Pitou stares at him. “Why? Why are we struggling to remember? What is it we forgot?”

When Killua says boyfriend, pitou feels her heat spike. She didn’t know why but looking at him saying that made her feel irritated.

Did this room…did it make us forget or did it take something? What is forgotten is still in there. A brain is a brain…”What is Gon to me?”

[devil_or_angle]

it's like... i remember, but it's hazy...

*boyfriend. boyfriend. as he repeats the word in his head, he gets flashes -- carnal, muscle memories of gon's body slammed against his, gon kissing him, thrusting inside of him. such images should fill him with passion, but all he feels is a dull ache.*

...and i don't feel any of the feelings associated with the memories.

*this emptiness reminds him of what his brother always impressed to him -- that he can only feel joy from killing. is that really the person he wants to be?*

[galacticgroovin]

I remember gon…I think…She remembers a cloudy night. A tall man with long white hair. A boy with raven hair. He screamed, flowing with nen.

Another vague memory comes to mind. Her arrival on the airship. The short boy in green who greeted her.

She grips her arm tightly, as if trying to grab the memory itself and remember. Yet it slips through her fingers. Who? Why do my eyes cry without knowing why? I feel nothing towards him..

”Come to think of it, I feel too relaxed..I’ve never been this calm around Killua.” I think we need to get out of this steam. Get some cool air.

[devil_or_angle]

yeah. let's get out of here.

*killua crosses the sauna and pushes open the door, stepping out into the lobby. the stillness that felt serene before is eerie now, filling him, paradoxically, with a sense of loss. some important part of himself was left behind inside that sauna, and he needs to get it back. he turns to read the sign again, scrutinizing it with a furrowed brow.*

detoxification... could it be... it removed our toxic feelings? but how would it even determine that...

*is friendship toxic? his brother certainly would say so... but there was more to it than that.*

[galacticgroovin]

Remove toxic feelings? Pitou asked as she follows him out. She wiped her eyes to get the tears away and take a close look at the sign.

She looked around the emptiness of the lobby. Feeling a similar eeriness as Killua. As if it was a semblance of her own mind. Empty and blank.

If what you’re saying is right..it may not go off one defined meaning. Perhaps what we lost..is something we hated? Something we didn’t want to think about?

[devil_or_angle]

*killua looks at her, blinking in understanding. if the definition wasn't predetermined, that would explain their different reactions to the treatment.*

maybe it was our own idea of toxicity...

*but surely he didn't believe friendship was toxic... maybe pitou herself was the key. he'd forgotten how he felt about her, too -- was she also his friend? or... his enemy? suddenly, something clicks in his mind, and the vague feeling tugging at his gut becomes a yanking pull. he hadn't loved her -- he'd hated her! because she also loved gon! it was hatred he'd cast away. hatred, jealousy, bitterness -- and their source. with a dawning horror that brings some of the color back to his eyes, he concludes:*

it took away the feelings that made us hate each other... and love him.

[galacticgroovin]

Pitou’s ear twitches. Her instincts seemed to calm at what he said. “He hates me. And I hated him.” Her eyes widen before relaxing again.

It took away our hatred..but also took something that had made us happy. She felt a twinge in her chests. Something told her, that her statement wasn’t entirely true.

It may have taken more than just those from me. I think it took something else. Something I wanted to forget..

She sighs. What good does looking at it now do us? We are here and what’s been removed is somewhere else. This room could have put them anywhere if it didn’t just…erase them.

[devil_or_angle]

there's got to be a way to reverse the process. we can try leaving the room... or maybe we should open up the vent in the sauna. the elevator's poison came from the vents, too...

*he trails off, rubbing his chin in thought. there's more life to him now, with his brain buzzing with actionable ideas, than there has been since the flash.*

--

*his other self isn't faring nearly as well. after shuffling around the swamp with pitou for what felt like an eternity, looking for a way out, he's finally starting to lose hope, sinking to the ground and wrapping his arms around his folded knees in defeat.*

it's useless... it's all up to them. they have to want us back.

*he sighs, laying his cheek against his slimy knees.*

the worst part is, i get why he wanted me gone.

[galacticgroovin]

Pitou halted in her stride next to him. She looked down at him with a sense of pity. Despite her own hatred for him, she could only relate to him now.

I think it’s entirely obvious why they would want us gone. I doubt I would want me back either. She probably feels happier without me. She looks up.

Without me, I think she can move on. I could be wrong, it I may be holding the memories she didn’t want. Not anymore at least.

She sat down next to Killua. Tell me, what bothers you more? Your own body rejecting you or not seeing Gon again?

[devil_or_angle]

*killua shakes his head bitterly. he can't even console himself with the thought that he'd be happier without these feelings, because he knows he won't be. he'll just go back to being empty like he was before he met gon.*

it's... it's the realization that to get rid of my jealousy, i'd have to stop loving him, too.

*he grips angrily at his knees, claws oozing from his fingertips and stabbing into him as his voice raises in self-hatred.*

why can't i just be okay with it like he is? he doesn't mind that i've got someone else too! it's not fair for me to be angry with him for getting with you...

*his claws sink in so deep they simply become a part of his knees, fingers fusing into them. perhaps if he keeps sitting here, he'll just melt away completely.*

...maybe i really am toxic.

[galacticgroovin]

Pitou holds her tail on her lap. Picking as the goo as if it will come off.

We are possessive. I know you spend a fair bit of time in that cat room. I know because Alluka spends a fair bit of time in there, least what she told me.

I am part cat. Felines are very possessive. What we consider ours, we don’t want to share under any circumstances. Be it someone being near them or them going to someone else.

You’re a rude brat…but I wouldn’t call you toxic.

She fell silent into quiet contemplation of what she is. A bundle of anger, hate and memories no longer wanted by herself. Her loyalty the king, not needed. Her chimera ant instincts, irrelevant. Without memories of Gon, she’d be able to move on without pain. You have a better chance of taking care of him than I do, if I don’t escape here…She mutters quietly. She felt confident her now “healthy” self didn’t want her. Any of it.

[devil_or_angle]

*killua looks up slowly as she speaks, realizing the irony that their commonalities are exactly what made them enemies in the first place. he snorts at her backhanded reassurance before laying his head back on his knees.*

...thanks.

*what she says next makes his heart squeeze with remorse, the thought that either of them might go on living without love unbearable to imagine.*

i don't think... it's better not to have felt.

*tears well up in his eyes again, big globs that blur his vision.*

i spent so long, trying not to feel... to be the cold, calculating assassin my parents wanted me to be, and i was miserable. if i can realize that, i'm sure you will, too.

[galacticgroovin]

Pitou scratched her claw in the ground. Random lines and swirls as she listened to him.

Are you certain about that? Are you certain it’s not better to have not felt? Feelings is what got us here.

Honestly, I thought you’d be happy by me telling you to take care of him.

She stopped her drawing. Do you really think your less miserable with feelings, even with us being here?

[devil_or_angle]

*killua nods, wrenching a melting hand out of his leg and using it to wipe his slimy tearsaway, or at least reabsorb them into his face.*

i'm miserable this way too, but i'd still take this over how i was. hopefully he'll feel the same.

*he turns his gaze up to look at her again, finally addressing something that's been on his mind with a somber frown.*

earlier you said... you'd killed me. was that true? back in your universe?

[galacticgroovin]

Pitou hummed quietly. Thinking for a moment. She remembered something. But it felt vague. Like a dream. Was it a dream?

No matter how hard she tried the memory she thought she knew slipped away. A different one day in its place. Unbeknownst to Pitou, Nanika did more than show her what she wanted to see. Her story was far different.

When I was born…I thought..I thought I killed you. But I guess it was a dream. I found myself staring at you, Kite and Gon.

I was ready to attack! You were intruders in our nest, but kite stopped me. Informing me of the queens final command before she was killed.

I didn’t believe him at first..but some of my people confirmed it. I was told I’d be taken away for testing and execution.

But then Gon stepped in. She looked at the slime she had scooped up absentmindedly. He said the hunter association can’t do that. “She’s a living being!” He said. “She just hatched and you want to kill her? She hasn’t done anything wrong!”

I didn’t trust him of course. My people would eat humans. Yet he stood there, defending me…A small smile came to her lips. I didn’t know it then, but he would become everything to me.