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endlessairship2023-09-01 12:00 am
devil_or_angle) wrote in endlessairship2023-09-01 12:00 am
toxic spa room (sfw)
*a new door has opened, this time leading to a fancy, futuristic spa straight out of a sci-fi movie. past a waiting room filled with comfy chairs looms a sauna with a sign touting its advanced restorative properties, which, unbeknownst to those who enter, will zap out whatever they consider their most toxic traits and send them to a goopy hellscape.
killua is the first to enter, gawking as his clothes are replaced with a fluffy bathrobe, cinched around his waist by a tie. intrigued, he ventures further in, drawn toward the large sauna in the center of the space. the sign beside it catches his eye, and though he's wary of what the airship might think is "restorative," he decides that after nearly dying and coming back to life, he could use a little relaxation.
he heaves open the thick metal door and steps inside, finding the room comfortably warm and filled with a strange but pleasant, sanitized smell. he sits down on the bench toward the back of it, breathing it in and wondering when, if at all, he'll notice its effects.*
killua is the first to enter, gawking as his clothes are replaced with a fluffy bathrobe, cinched around his waist by a tie. intrigued, he ventures further in, drawn toward the large sauna in the center of the space. the sign beside it catches his eye, and though he's wary of what the airship might think is "restorative," he decides that after nearly dying and coming back to life, he could use a little relaxation.
he heaves open the thick metal door and steps inside, finding the room comfortably warm and filled with a strange but pleasant, sanitized smell. he sits down on the bench toward the back of it, breathing it in and wondering when, if at all, he'll notice its effects.*
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Pitou stares at him. “Why? Why are we struggling to remember? What is it we forgot?”
When Killua says boyfriend, pitou feels her heat spike. She didn’t know why but looking at him saying that made her feel irritated.
Did this room…did it make us forget or did it take something? What is forgotten is still in there. A brain is a brain…”What is Gon to me?”
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*boyfriend. boyfriend. as he repeats the word in his head, he gets flashes -- carnal, muscle memories of gon's body slammed against his, gon kissing him, thrusting inside of him. such images should fill him with passion, but all he feels is a dull ache.*
...and i don't feel any of the feelings associated with the memories.
*this emptiness reminds him of what his brother always impressed to him -- that he can only feel joy from killing. is that really the person he wants to be?*
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I remember gon…I think…She remembers a cloudy night. A tall man with long white hair. A boy with raven hair. He screamed, flowing with nen.
Another vague memory comes to mind. Her arrival on the airship. The short boy in green who greeted her.
She grips her arm tightly, as if trying to grab the memory itself and remember. Yet it slips through her fingers. Who? Why do my eyes cry without knowing why? I feel nothing towards him..
”Come to think of it, I feel too relaxed..I’ve never been this calm around Killua.” I think we need to get out of this steam. Get some cool air.
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*killua crosses the sauna and pushes open the door, stepping out into the lobby. the stillness that felt serene before is eerie now, filling him, paradoxically, with a sense of loss. some important part of himself was left behind inside that sauna, and he needs to get it back. he turns to read the sign again, scrutinizing it with a furrowed brow.*
detoxification... could it be... it removed our toxic feelings? but how would it even determine that...
*is friendship toxic? his brother certainly would say so... but there was more to it than that.*
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Remove toxic feelings? Pitou asked as she follows him out. She wiped her eyes to get the tears away and take a close look at the sign.
She looked around the emptiness of the lobby. Feeling a similar eeriness as Killua. As if it was a semblance of her own mind. Empty and blank.
If what you’re saying is right..it may not go off one defined meaning. Perhaps what we lost..is something we hated? Something we didn’t want to think about?
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maybe it was our own idea of toxicity...
*but surely he didn't believe friendship was toxic... maybe pitou herself was the key. he'd forgotten how he felt about her, too -- was she also his friend? or... his enemy? suddenly, something clicks in his mind, and the vague feeling tugging at his gut becomes a yanking pull. he hadn't loved her -- he'd hated her! because she also loved gon! it was hatred he'd cast away. hatred, jealousy, bitterness -- and their source. with a dawning horror that brings some of the color back to his eyes, he concludes:*
it took away the feelings that made us hate each other... and love him.
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Pitou’s ear twitches. Her instincts seemed to calm at what he said. “He hates me. And I hated him.” Her eyes widen before relaxing again.
It took away our hatred..but also took something that had made us happy. She felt a twinge in her chests. Something told her, that her statement wasn’t entirely true.
It may have taken more than just those from me. I think it took something else. Something I wanted to forget..
She sighs. What good does looking at it now do us? We are here and what’s been removed is somewhere else. This room could have put them anywhere if it didn’t just…erase them.
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*he trails off, rubbing his chin in thought. there's more life to him now, with his brain buzzing with actionable ideas, than there has been since the flash.*
--
*his other self isn't faring nearly as well. after shuffling around the swamp with pitou for what felt like an eternity, looking for a way out, he's finally starting to lose hope, sinking to the ground and wrapping his arms around his folded knees in defeat.*
it's useless... it's all up to them. they have to want us back.
*he sighs, laying his cheek against his slimy knees.*
the worst part is, i get why he wanted me gone.
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Pitou halted in her stride next to him. She looked down at him with a sense of pity. Despite her own hatred for him, she could only relate to him now.
I think it’s entirely obvious why they would want us gone. I doubt I would want me back either. She probably feels happier without me. She looks up.
Without me, I think she can move on. I could be wrong, it I may be holding the memories she didn’t want. Not anymore at least.
She sat down next to Killua. Tell me, what bothers you more? Your own body rejecting you or not seeing Gon again?
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it's... it's the realization that to get rid of my jealousy, i'd have to stop loving him, too.
*he grips angrily at his knees, claws oozing from his fingertips and stabbing into him as his voice raises in self-hatred.*
why can't i just be okay with it like he is? he doesn't mind that i've got someone else too! it's not fair for me to be angry with him for getting with you...
*his claws sink in so deep they simply become a part of his knees, fingers fusing into them. perhaps if he keeps sitting here, he'll just melt away completely.*
...maybe i really am toxic.
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Pitou holds her tail on her lap. Picking as the goo as if it will come off.
We are possessive. I know you spend a fair bit of time in that cat room. I know because Alluka spends a fair bit of time in there, least what she told me.
I am part cat. Felines are very possessive. What we consider ours, we don’t want to share under any circumstances. Be it someone being near them or them going to someone else.
You’re a rude brat…but I wouldn’t call you toxic.
She fell silent into quiet contemplation of what she is. A bundle of anger, hate and memories no longer wanted by herself. Her loyalty the king, not needed. Her chimera ant instincts, irrelevant. Without memories of Gon, she’d be able to move on without pain. You have a better chance of taking care of him than I do, if I don’t escape here…She mutters quietly. She felt confident her now “healthy” self didn’t want her. Any of it.
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...thanks.
*what she says next makes his heart squeeze with remorse, the thought that either of them might go on living without love unbearable to imagine.*
i don't think... it's better not to have felt.
*tears well up in his eyes again, big globs that blur his vision.*
i spent so long, trying not to feel... to be the cold, calculating assassin my parents wanted me to be, and i was miserable. if i can realize that, i'm sure you will, too.
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Pitou scratched her claw in the ground. Random lines and swirls as she listened to him.
Are you certain about that? Are you certain it’s not better to have not felt? Feelings is what got us here.
Honestly, I thought you’d be happy by me telling you to take care of him.
She stopped her drawing. Do you really think your less miserable with feelings, even with us being here?
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i'm miserable this way too, but i'd still take this over how i was. hopefully he'll feel the same.
*he turns his gaze up to look at her again, finally addressing something that's been on his mind with a somber frown.*
earlier you said... you'd killed me. was that true? back in your universe?
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Pitou hummed quietly. Thinking for a moment. She remembered something. But it felt vague. Like a dream. Was it a dream?
No matter how hard she tried the memory she thought she knew slipped away. A different one day in its place. Unbeknownst to Pitou, Nanika did more than show her what she wanted to see. Her story was far different.
When I was born…I thought..I thought I killed you. But I guess it was a dream. I found myself staring at you, Kite and Gon.
I was ready to attack! You were intruders in our nest, but kite stopped me. Informing me of the queens final command before she was killed.
I didn’t believe him at first..but some of my people confirmed it. I was told I’d be taken away for testing and execution.
But then Gon stepped in. She looked at the slime she had scooped up absentmindedly. He said the hunter association can’t do that. “She’s a living being!” He said. “She just hatched and you want to kill her? She hasn’t done anything wrong!”
I didn’t trust him of course. My people would eat humans. Yet he stood there, defending me…A small smile came to her lips. I didn’t know it then, but he would become everything to me.
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...that does sound like him. idiot.
*his voice cracks when he next speaks, his heart trembling in his chest.*
...so were you together back then?
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Well..not at first. I willingly went with the hunters. I had nowhere else to go. My queen was dead and there was no king to serve.
But he would always make sure I was safe and comfortable at the headquarters. In my little cell. He visited a lot.
It didn’t take long before I grew fond of him. She looks at Killua with a small frown. You never really trusted me. You often insisted he stay away from me. Even when he visited, you sulked in the corner, glaring at me.
Cause of that, I wasn’t fond of you either. You wanted to keep him away from me. Eventually I was let free.
You know what he said when I was freed? “You should get a hunter license like me and Killua!”
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and that... sounds like me.
*it seems they're at odds in any universe, especially if she was as close to gon as it seems.*
did you get to become a hunter?
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I did. Not that I’d really be a hunter. It meant I’d get to stay close to gon. That’s all that mattered.
She tucks her knees in, wrapping her arms around them. We had become close. A couple even. Then I was here. Seeing that this Gon left me for you, I started to worry if my Gon did the same…
Why did we have to both fall for the same boy?
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*his gaze scrapes the dark, dank swamp they're still trapped in, heart aching for the light of gon's smile.*
he shines.
*as he says it, he starts to feel lighter, somehow, like the slime is melting off his body -- or rather, his body itself is melting away, diffusing into the smoggy atmosphere. he should feel panicked, frightened, but all it brings with it is a pervading sense of peace as he shuts his eyes and waits to be dissolved.*
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Pito smirks, laughing lightly. Yeah…he does.
She thinks about how he would always look at her. Eyes bright with a wide smile. Her heart feeling more full since arriving thinking of the memory of seeing his curious face upon her birth.
She closed her eyes, not even noticing Killuas state as she felt lighter. She didn’t notice that her body seemed to begin dissolving.
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it worked...
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Pitou was peeking over Killuas shoulder as pulled the lid away. Quickly being met with the same pungent gas. She reeled backwards coughing and trying to wave it away from her face.
She realized the difference nearly immediately. The sudden flood of memories, actions and desires returned to make her whole. She sneezed as everything settled into place.
Worked would..be an understatement. She poked and prodded her hand, the memories of the toxic hell still making her question if she was her.
At least you found the way to make us whole again. We should probably board this place up..probably wouldn’t be great if anyone else got in here. They may not try to collect what was taken.
She was still trying to gather her thoughts. The memories of outside and inside the toxin jumbling together, due to happening simultaneously.
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*he's dazed, still getting used to the blend of memories from this world and that, blinking. a sober sense of resignation begins to fall over him, the culmination of both of his experiences. he steps away from the can with a deep sigh.*
i think... i need to have another talk with gon.
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Pitou raised her brow. I probably need to have one with him as well. If he will listen that is.
But, you’re the one that’s with him. So you have first say. Just don’t go repeating anything I said in there. I’d prefer to tell him myself.
She sighs. Right now you’re the only one who knows…what I am. He still thinks my species is a different kind of human. I’m not sure how he will..take that information.
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