*killua gives a soft scoff, wistful with remorse.*

i failed pretty badly at that, didn't i?

*he takes another breath of kalluto's scent, plunging himself into his own patchy memories of them as children, before they'd both learned to kill. back then, he naïvely thought that if he did well in his training, kalluto might not need to be trained at all. purely wishful thinking, in hindsight. he learned it the hard way when illumi stole both his precious playmates away.*

i couldn't keep you safe, and i definitely didn't do alluka any favors...

*he rocks a little on the blanket, stroking his fingers down to the bare skin at his brother's waist, playing in the dip of his spine.*

...but i'm gonna try my best, now. here.