Field in Spring (sfw) (cw: drowning)

[descendsanathema]

Kalluto's body twitches under the blankets, curled forward, arms huddled around himself.

In his dream, he sees Killua in the mirror, and he's back in his room, the reflection the same except for the two of them. Their hands are touching. Killua is asking if he's okay, if he knows where he is. Blue sparks surge as they realise there's a nearby place they can meet. The mirror isn't working, but Kalluto can get away and be safe.

A throbbing pain between his eyes. It's pure nen, a Condition he agreed to before he left them the first time. He hears Illumi's voice, hears him reacting to what they're talking about. Killua can't hear him, but Kalluto can hear them both, can't hear who Illumi's talking to, but they're coordinating. They know where Killua will be.

"A stronger needle, in the heart, not the skull this time. He controls that thing more completely than we expected."

Kalluto can't call out, there's a pressure in his throat pushing back against the air. He feels light-headed, and Killua can see. He hasn't heard any of the developments, but he can see into Kalluto's eyes. Kalluto stops, marshals his energy, uses his paper to cut, and he screams. Killua can hear it.

It's cut short by water, so much water, surging down his throat. He's knocked backwards, spluttering, then gargling, then drowning, then realises he hasn't touched the ground. He's floating in water that's pushing against him from all directions.

He forces himself to face the mirror. As his vision begins to fade, he's dimly aware that he saw an army of butlers appear out of nowhere in Killua's hotel room - Kalluto's room. He can't hear Killua's voice, but as his brother is being dragged away from the mirror, Kalluto swears he can read his lips, or there's paper that Illumi never touched that he's using to talk.

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[descendsanathema]

*Never one to pant, Kalluto begins trying to catch his breath with dainty, substantial puffs through his nose. His body was pulling away from his awareness, and the discomfort at this was pooling in his stomach again, threatening to spill all through him.

He was grateful that Killua pulled back. It was so awkward immediately after Kalluto came to his senses in the buffet room. He needed more control over his body.*

Can... we can stop here, can't we?

[devil_or_angle]

*killua is panting too, less gracefully than his brother, heaving chest pumping air through parted, prickling lips.*

...of course.

*he pulls away instantly, falling back on his ankles and leaving kalluto bared to the sun above. he gulps, throat dry, and rubs the back of his neck, smoothing down the hairs that have risen there. he doesn't know where exactly they were heading before kalluto asked him to stop, but his heart is racing like it was ready to find out.*

[descendsanathema]

Thank you.

*Kalluto closed his eyes, acclimatising to the heat of the sun on his skin. He felt the absence of Killua, but that warmth helped stave off the immediate feeling of forlorn, touchstarved greed that he expected to surge into the vacuum. He felt content, instead.

It's possible, he thought, that he didn't need to stop exactly when he'd asked. But he was very sure that he had to know, so he'd feel properly safe trusting Killua with his body in the future.*

You really are nothing like him. I'm sorry for what I said earlier.

[devil_or_angle]

*killua busies himself with readjusting his shirt, smoothing it back down with a couple pats against his still-hammering heart. he glances up when kalluto speaks, or rather down, for his brother is still lying belly-up on the picnic blanket like caught prey. he gulps again at the thought, quickly averting his eyes to the balcony in the distance.*

thanks. i'd never make you do something you didn't wanna do.

[descendsanathema]

*Tilting his neck, barely keeping his head above the ground, he peered through the bottom of his eyes as Killua neatened his clothes. Now that he wasn't lost in the sensation of it all, Kalluto still felt a mixture, a variety of feelings about his brother.*

A few hours ago, I didn't think I could stand to be in the same room as you. Now I'm wondering how I'd handle us being apart.

*He let his head sag again, staring up at the sky, eyes lazily closing again, his arms tucked behind his head, completely at ease around his brother.*

But I know it's gotta happen.

*He thought about his sister, the way Killua doted on her - according to Melody - and his mother, the way she doted on himself. The way Illumi loved him, in the same sinister, possessive way as his mother. Kalluto didn't trust himself with anything - not his body, nor deciding how often he should be around people. He missed his newest family, but he probably wouldn't want to be around them all the time, either, even though he'd want to.*

You'll come find me the next time you want to see me?

[devil_or_angle]

*killua pushes to his feet with a soft huff, stretching and shaking out the tension in his body. hands settling on his hips, he cocks a brow down at kalluto, similarly bemused at how quickly things had progressed between them.*

yeah. and you come by my cabin if you want to see me. look for my name on the door.

*he’s feeling a bit antsy to get back to it right now, but rolls his shoulders languidly to disguise it as he twists toward the balcony staircase.*

or just ask melody, she’ll show you.

[descendsanathema]

Alright. I'll see you soon.

*It felt like Kalluto had spent days out in this field by the time he left, the desserts from what felt like weeks ago staying preserved out here in the sun while he finished them off.

He cleaned up, and made his way up the stairs. When he took one last look at the balcony, he suppressed a reflex to toss a piece of paper somewhere around here.

Kalluto wasn't at work anymore. He still needed a little sleep, but it would be in his own cabin instead of here.*