barbieland room (NSFW ACCIDENTALLY)

[devil_or_angle]

*there's a new door in the hallway. it's pink. thinking alluka will surely love whatever is behind it, killua turns the handle and heads in to make sure it's safe. his eyes are immediately assaulted with a plastic world made up of the brightest candy-colors he's ever seen, so startling that it takes him a moment to realize that even his clothes have changed to match, trading out his turtleneck and jeans for an open teal-and-pink striped shirt and identically-patterned shorts. he grimaces down at the dorky getup before venturing further inside, wondering if he might be able to find a change of clothes in one of the pink, multi-story houses lining the shiny cul-de-sac.*

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[descendsanathema]

*Kalluto smoothed over his face, not quite managing to wipe the fondness from his eyes, but not wanting to show that he felt a little silly taking the hint so late. Play time was over, he guessed.

He sighed, closing his eyes, then opening them again to stare straight up, at the garishly toned ceiling.*

So. What now?

[devil_or_angle]

*trying to disguise how relieved he is that kalluto isn’t forcing the issue, killua shrugs nonchalantly as he slowly uncoils, sitting up and following kalluto’s gaze to the ceiling.*

i dunno.

*truthfully, he doesn’t — they’ve already gone much further than he ever expected they would, leaving them in a strange limbo between brotherly and sexual feelings. he doesn’t know how to see him, now, not sure how he’ll see him when he again meets his eyes — or more pressing yet, when they return to their intact bodies and are hit with the full repurcussions of their fling.*

[descendsanathema]

*Kalluto's mind was churning, a rudder slammed full tilt to port. It had seemed natural to him that they take turns, that everything done to him needed to be catalogued, to be done in reverse to Killua. Did that mean that it was all flotsam, or jetsam?

Without the physical stimulus, odd and muted as it all was, he found the wave of immediacy collapsed and dissolved, so he was glad not to be currently riding atop its crest.*

Well. I still don't feel like moving.

[devil_or_angle]

*at an impasse, killua glances down at his brother's sprawled form laid out on his lap. while not in the throes of passion he's embarrassed to touch the exposed expanse of his body, but allows himself to at least lean over him and brush his disheveled bangs from his eyes while his own shyly dart away from them.*

thanks. um, for stopping.

*he swallows, pausing before abruptly confessing:*

y'see, i only just called it off with gon, and i haven't even told alluka that we kissed yet...

[descendsanathema]

*With a groan, Kalluto hoists himself upwards, pushing off the floor with his hands until he's sitting cross-legged. As he reaches the position, a gown materialises, with sparkles, covering him from the neck down. He shifts. The gown clung, discoloured and sticky, to his skin. When he felt it, he glanced at it in distaste before looking towards the side of Killua's face.*

Oh. You've broken it off with Gon. Then whose business of hers is it who you kiss?

[devil_or_angle]

*killua's heart lurches after kalluto as he disentangles from him, suddenly adopting his fear of being the one to lose him in his moment of hesitance. the gown he summons to shield himself away can barely cover up what killua's done to him, short hair still disheveled, pouting face still flushed. he realizes there's no point in pushing them further apart by concealing the truth -- clearly, he doesn't have an issue with incest. heaving a sigh, he confesses,*

the thing is, i kiss her, too.

*before kalluto can get up in arms about it, he leans in and takes his brother's chin, gently, and turns him fully to face him, a serious, uncommonly vulnerable look in his dark eyes.*

so i just wanna make sure we're all on the same page about what this means to us.

*he pauses, stroking kalluto's delicate jawline with his thumb before casting both his hand and gaze downward.*

because it means a lot, to me.

[descendsanathema]

*Kalluto doesn't flinch or resist, but he's full of tension from the neck up once his face is wrapped in Killua's hand. He thought that was what Killua had meant, and had the intent to thrust something sharp into the conversation, but he was the one who was wincing.

Meaning... this was how Illumi talked, too. Everything had to mean something, and Kalluto didn't get to decide. But Kalluto was confused, barely listening to his brother talk, just staring into eyes that weren't rejecting him, even though he was.

His brother's thumb felt like a cotton ball that was painfully soft. Killua let his hand fall, and in second the tension had dripped down onto his shoulders, ran off all the way the way to the floor. He propped up his knees, wrapping both arms around his legs, tilting his head to point at the floor between them.*

There's too many gaps for me to know what it means. I'm never the one picking, anyway. Even the Troupe don't even get out a coin for me.

*He sunk a little further, too many things to avoid thinking about to not be glanced by one of them. He didn't care that it was her, but why did it have to be her?

Was he content just to pull off a piece of Killua for himself?*

[devil_or_angle]

*kalluto's response, while not actively hostile, is seeped in bitterness that leaves a bad taste on killua's tongue. his relief from the weight of his confession is brief, as it settles back over his shoulders as a cloak of remorse for the complicated situation he's unintentionally put his siblings in. he'd hate to make either of them feel in any way like gon had made him feel, helpless to his whims.*

you should get to pick. so should she...

*he glances up at his brother, finding his gaze similarly downcast and dull, and his voice cracks with empathy.*

...i wanna give you both what you want... what you need.

[descendsanathema]

*Kalluto closed his eyes, knees and elbows compressing further, a tighter ball, feet pushing off the floor with tiny motions that barely move him. It wasn't obvious whether this was for comfort or to help him think, least of all to Kalluto.

Abruptly, he stopped, deftly balanced on the balls of his feet, his head tilting level to look at Killua as his ankles flexed, slowly lowering his feet flat, staring into Killua's eyes with keen intent. A sullen pout hung off his face, shaken off bit by bit by every blink.*

I need... I want...

I want you to need me. I don't like being a doll. A pet. A mascot.

*He bit off the last word with disgust, suddenly aware that he was being silly about his intelligence role in the Troupe. Phinks hated when he belittled himself like this. So, he resented the idea of being someone's passion project, too, but kept that behind his teeth, grateful to this Killua.*

What do you need? I can... try to do it.

*Please. I can be enough.*

[devil_or_angle]

*killua's heart leaps at his brother's insistence, each beat a pang as he struggles with his desire to placate him and his far of going too far and making another mess of things. all he's left with is sullen indecision.*

i don't know what i need.

*he sighs, rocking on his haunches until he finally tips back and sprawls out on the glittery pink plastic floor, chest sinking into his denim vest.*

...i guess i need you to give me time to figure it out.

[descendsanathema]

*With slow, lithe movement, Kalluto sprang out of his ball, maintaining the momentum as he crawled forward. The gown's thick, crimson velvet hugged the subtle curves of his shoulders, spine and hips, and hung loose enough that his underwear, his otherwise bare body were clearly visible through the plunging neckline. He took care to keep his chest high, well clear of his brother's, to keep his hands and feet from touching where Killua sprawled.*

I'm not in a hurry.

*He crawled, unaware that every movement of his limbs dragged the soft material across his brother, the agonising pace only stopping when their faces were aligned.*

This is fine, for now?

[devil_or_angle]

*as kalluto crawls toward him, killua stiffens, bracing himself for the flat press of crotch-against-crotch that never comes. instead there's only the brush of draping fabric, just enough to make the unresolved bundle of arousal in his stomach quiver. he blinks up at his brother, brow creased in apprehension, but tentatively accepts the truce.*

yeah.

[descendsanathema]

*Content with the position, but the second wind rapidly draining, Kalluto pushes off of his left side, deftly wrenching his arms to turn 180 degrees and curling his shoulders, landing softly, but padded again by the velvet still draping Killua, the vest-exposed chest covered. Kalluto moved an inch, and he was nestled near Killua, barely touching him.*

But don't hold out on me. I'm not like...

*He isn't sure how to word it, would rather not be clear than let more acrid tones foul his tongue. You don't go to McDonald's if your favourite restaurant's reservations are closed.*

It's being selfish in another way, you know. Putting it all on yourself.

[devil_or_angle]

*killua's chest swells and dips with a breath of relief as kalluto curls beside him, the pressure of expectation slowly ebbing away. he shifts onto his side to face his brother, lips pursed in a brooding pout.*

i know. i'm sorry.

*he already feels selfish enough for wanting both of his siblings while they are forced to share him -- but what he's doing now, holding back, is supposed to be for their sakes. that's what he tells himself as he gently reaches up to brush kalluto's cheek in an aborted motion that ends with his fist falling into the narrow space between them.*

[descendsanathema]

*He felt a tingle of anticipation run across his cheek, spreading warmth through to his core that lingered even after Killua fastened his hand and arm, then made them drop to the floor, their task abandoned. His brother's hand looked delicate and precious against the soft, undulating velvet that spanned a bridge between their bodies, like the vibrant lining of a jewellery case. Knowing Killua wanted to touch him, now, was almost as good as the touch itself.

He closed his eyes, suddenly awash with sadness. What the fuck did their family teach him? A craving for sensory release surged rapidly through the bottom of him, competing impulses swirling and breaking against each other where there was a vacuum a few seconds ago.*

I want to sunbathe, on a deck, in calm waters.

*He scooted a little closer to Killua, as close as he could without crushing their hand between their bodies.*

When I wake up.

*He relaxed, drained of expectation, knowing he could happily bundle himself in his massive gown and doze, even if his brother were to leave now.*

[devil_or_angle]

*killua's gaze follows the drape of kalluto's lashes against his cheeks, his heart swelling with the full appreciation of how vulnerable he's acting in return. warm beneath the gown's velvet folds, finally comfortably covered and at ease beside his brother, he murmurs,*

that sounds nice.